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Prince Harry Didn't Hear from King Charles About Coronation Invite - PEOPLE

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Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's invitation to King Charles' coronation didn't come in the way Harry had hoped.

When the Duke and Duchess of Sussex received an email about the royal event from Charles' office — and not from Harry's father himself — it became clear that the "sit-down" the prince sought to talk through their issues following the release of his memoir Spare wasn't going to happen, a close friend tells PEOPLE exclusively in this week's cover story.

"They didn't hear from Charles. Harry wanted to hear from his father directly — it's always through somebody," the friend says.

With the coronation just weeks away and the big question of whether the Duke and Duchess of Sussex would attend the historic ceremony remaining, the estranged father and son ultimately connected — although not in person — and had "positive conversations," a source says.

King Charles and Prince Harry. DAVID ROSE/POOL/AFP via Getty

King Charles, 74, was deeply saddened by the accusations of disloyalty and media manipulation that Prince Harry made against the royal family in his memoir, Spare, released in January. In an interview with Tom Bradby surrounding the book's release, Prince Harry said, "There's a lot that can happen between now and then. But the door is always open. The ball is in their court. There's a lot to be discussed, and I really hope that they're willing to sit down and talk about it."

A source who knows the royals tells PEOPLE it would be King Charles' "first wish" for Harry to join them at the coronation.

"Despite the wounds, it's his son, and I can't imagine he wouldn't want him to be there regardless of the hurtful things that have been said," royal biographer Sally Bedell Smith adds.

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For Prince Harry, his solo appearance at the coronation has everything to do with his desire to have, as he has stated, a "family, not an institution."

"This is about a son showing up for his father rather than the optics of the institution," the close friend says.

The coronation will be bittersweet for Prince Harry, who, in addition to attending without Meghan, likely has no official role and is not expected to participate in any of the other planned events, including a Buckingham Palace balcony appearance. However, a source who knows the royals tells PEOPLE Harry "will happily go along with whatever the plan is" and that his main concern about attending was the issue of his security, which has been addressed.

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While Prince Harry supports his father at the May 6 crowning ceremony in London, Meghan will stay in California with their children Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet. With Prince Archie's 4th birthday falling on the same day as the coronation, the Duchess of Sussex will celebrate their son at home alongside his little sister, Princess Lilibet, 22 months.

"It's an elegant solution," Bedell Smith says, adding that Archie's birthday "gave them a reasonable out for Meghan not to come." But those closest to the couple know that the media backlash she faced in the U.K. during Queen Elizabeth's funeral last year — and in the months since — played a significant role.

Chris Jackson - WPA Pool/Getty

"Meghan wants to be there to support her father-in-law, but at the same time, the scrutiny she receives outweighs the support," the close friend says. "There's always going to be that other side challenging their reasoning, and who wants to put themselves in that position?"

A palace insider also tells PEOPLE, "It would have been quite significant if Harry hadn't attended his father's coronation, but I'm not surprised Meghan isn't going given the circumstances."

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